Monday, June 25, 2012

Not my kid (passing judgement)

My kids:

will always brush their teeth- will never be bribed with food- will always wash their hands after taking a poop-will go to church-will eat vegetables-will be promptly removed from a store when tantruming-will not play with guns*-will rarely watch TV-will never be spanked-will never sleep in my bed-will never swear-will always get a dirty diaper changed-will not play video games-will clean up their messes-will always have their hair cut-will not ever have my spit used to clean their faces-will not get yelled at- will never be in the yard alone-will not eat hot dogs-will not hit-will not stay in on a sunny day-will not be spoiled-will do all their homework-will know how to swim-will never miss appointments-will never tell me they hate me- will not eat McDonalds-will practice the alphabet-will never be ignored
*Yes, that's MY daughter with a toy gun

I bet every person has done it. Judged. Yup, I am pretty sure even the most non-judgmental of folks has secretly judged another at some point. Maybe it was a warranted judgment, as in how we all felt about decisions Casey Anthony made. But sometimes it seems to be the age old mistake of criticizing before we have walked a mile in the shoes of the one we are judging.

I have done it. First it was pre-kid judging. I wont raise MY hypothetical, unborn child that way.

And it didn't even stop there. I kept right on judging. Judging moms who had more kids than me. Deciding right then and there how once I had all my kiddos, how I would never to this, or always do that.

The thing is, I am pretty sure my judgments were a form of self-discovery. Another words, my judgments were less about the person who I was judging and more about me. Me trying to figure out what is important to me, what I hope to do for my children, and what I would not compromise on when it came to raising them.

The stupid mistake I was making is that you have NO IDEA what you are getting yourself into when you become a parent of one, then two, then three. And it gets even more complicated when you pregnancies are close together and your children are all little. The judgments I passed on other parents, the assumptions I made about what I would and would not do, the vision I had in my head of how I would raise MY kids....that my friends has all been rocked to the core.

I now understand that the reality is that you CANNOT do it all. If you work full time, have a healthy marriage, have three kids, and friends, and other family member that may need you and a home to take care of, and maybe some pets and of course yourself to worry about, then something will have to give. And you will be judged. It is inevitable. And one of the best things that has happened to me recently is that I have finally come to a point in my life that I do not care what other people think (I don't have time to). But I have also stopped judging so much.

At the end of the day I have a choice. I can focus on all the things that I didn't do for my kids. All the parent rules I have broken. OR I can do this:

Refocus on the non-negotiable. The things that make up our families moral code. The good in it all. Which for me is-

-I will tell my children I love them every day
-I will put all my effort into giving them a variety of experiences
-I will do my best to model a healthy, active lifestyle and get up and out of the house as much as possible.

I am doing the best I can most of the time and I only pray that it is the right thing for US.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

One Month Post-Baby Body

Okay, I was dragging my feet on this one....but here we are, one month out from giving birth. And it is time for honestly here. I am starting another road. I have been down this road before, the difficult, but necessary road of weight loss. It is time to get serious and start to think about getting off extra weight and continuing my healthy living/ fitness journey.

So, how is it all going? Well I have some weight to get off, but the good news is my body seems to be allowing me to start this process because my healing is going well. My doctor recommenced nothing more than light walking until 6 weeks postpartum (which is 2 weeks away) but I stopped bleeding and feel good enough to do some light workouts at the gym.

So I listed my weight/ measurement one week after birth HERE. I decided not to take measurements again until 2 months out, mostly because I am not sure much has changed and I have only been working out for a few days.

My current weight seems to be fluctuating between let's call it 150. I am not going to lie, I secretly hoped 5 more lbs would magically melt off and I would be well into the 140's...yeah, not so much. I have only lost 2 more lbs since 1 weeks out. All that "magic" weight is already off and this is what I am faced with.

So here are the pictures. We will call them BEFORE photos. I choose to squeeze into wear this tank top because it is the same shirt I am wearing in my blog picture on the right of the screen. My goal is to look like that in this top again. I think it gives you a good idea of my goal and what I looked like when I was in good shape and at my goal weight/ fitness level.

Front boobs are huge (notice in real "non-nursing" life I have no boobs)

                                                                        Back view

                                                  Side: I kinda miss my big ole preggo belly

So how am I going to get to my goal of 135ish lbs? Well I am going to stick with my goals from 1 week after baby:

1. Get back to eating more clean than I am right now- I am doing pretty good at this. The key is keeping good/ healthy food in the house. I am starting to look at clean recipe blogs and sites again..which helps motivate me
2. Slowly start to exercise and get the kids involved in the process
Well my first day back at the gym was Saturday and I have gone on Sunday, and today (Wednesday) and I did the elliptical at home on Tuesday, along with a day of walking around with the kids on a family day trip. I am having to go slow. My body has healed enough to start the process, but not enough for heavy lifting or anything too intense. I still feel like someone kicked me in the crotch with a steel toed boot and my insides are still tender....but I am getting there and I know that by next month I will be lifting again
3. Get down to 145 lbs
5 lb goals are good for me. 145 is attainable and I would really love to be there by my two month update.

I would like to add the goal of :
4. Tracking calories/ fitness using
I have been doing this as much as possible but it is hard to sit down and get anything done with 3 monkeys who need me all day..however, when you exercise and breastfeed it is essential to get your calorie intake under control. I learned the hard way that eating too little can prohibit weight loss even more than eating too many calories. So i will use the website to make sure I am eating enough good/ healthy food to keep my supply and energy up AND to drop the LBS

So here's to hoping I can drop the excuses and get enough sleep to make this all happen. Every mama knows that the hardest part of having a one month old infant is lack of sleep and no real schedule.
BUT, if I can do it now, I can do it forever.

I will report back in one month!

Monday, June 4, 2012

7 years, thanks to beers

Today is June 4...which means something special around these parts. It is the 7th anniversary of the night my husband and I met.

Ironically, though neither Mike and I drink anymore, we met at a beer festival that takes place a few times a year in South Boston. My friend and I literally stumbled into two guys only about 30 minutes before the festival ended. Mike and I were more like the wingmen for our two friends who had been hitting on each other.

To make a long story short, we ended up talking all night and hitting up several local bars together. At the time I lived right in Boston and could show him all of my local establishments.

Fast forward seven years, some great dates, a quick engagement, a wedding, 3 kids, a lot of memories, some pain and more love than I ever thought I would get to feel......and here we are.

My husband, my best friend, my partner in crime..I love you more than words could ever express.

Days like this are meant for reflecting. Though we don't really "celebrate" this date formally (we have our wedding anniversary next month for that) but I know we both take time to remember and think about our love and our life together and where it all began.

We had no clue back then. No clue how wonderful and challenging our life together would be...How close we would become...How many sacrifices we would make...How we would quickly grow to need each other..How we would share all of our secrets...and How eventually we would be a true family, two lives who were so separate that day, June 4th, 7 years ago and now so intertwined, two totally inseparable souls. 

Meeting my husband really made me a better person. I know that is cliche and that everyone who is married probably says it...but it is so true. I think about that 24 year old girl at the beer festival and I think of how far I have come since then, how much I have learned. My husband has taught me so much about who I am, what I love and how I want to live my life. I am fairly certain he would say the same thing about me. Somehow we have brought out the best in each other (though it took some time for that to happen).

I love you Micheal. Thank you for being you and for showing up at that beer festival so many years ago. I am glad that we do not drink anymore, but I am also glad that we were total drunks back in the day, because it would have really sucked not to meet you.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Staying sane with 3 kids

What is going on in our world...
We have done a lot of playing. The kiddos have been pretty crazy and attention seeking now that they have a tiny baby to compete with. So this mama has been doing a lot of refereeing and putting on shows to keep the monkeys happy and going.

There have been bubble baths
Helping with the gardening

Bike riding and playgrounding
I love this picture above. Today we had a fun family day that started with an event that we go to each year called Touch-a-Truck. It is a kid friendly fundraiser where they can go and hop in and climb on many different work trucks, construction equipment, tractors, buses, etc. It is a fun time and we always run into many of our favorite families. Charlotte is sitting next to her friend Nate above and boy does she look thrilled. She has such a little attitude!!!!
Liam and his pal Colby in the firetruck
Our family loves John Deere

Daddy and his girl

Today was a good day, maybe even a great day. We had Daddy with us, which is always a treat as he works a lot. We had good, healthy, family fun. We also got some decent lunch and frozen yogurt. And all of this was topped of with me coming home and taking a 2 hour nap with the baby. Now THAT is a real treat. I was starting to feel a bit zombie like with the lack of sleep and needed some catching up. The most annoying thing about having a new baby and small kids is reading all of the articles and advice columns that say you need to "find time for yourself, or sleep when the baby sleeps, or do not lift anything over 10 lbs" hahahaha, yeah right.

So on that note, the other struggle I am having is when to return to exercise. I am pretty physically active with the kiddos all day and I am still sore and have stitches that have not dissolved.Ii really want to start working out, as I know it will lift my mood and my natural energy level...but I also am afraid to do more harm than good. I had thought about starting cardio this week and I may do a test run on Tuesday to see if I can handle it (on our home elliptical) and then if it goes okay I may start to try and get up for the gym.

 I don't think I will lift anything until my 6 week appt and when my stitches are gone. It sure is hard to wait, mostly because I worked really hard to stay fit throughout my pregnancy and I feel like it is slipping away. But damn does my pelvis still hurt.

Stay tuned for my one month post baby update.

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