Spring-air, playground workouts and new life on the "farm"

There is nothing like good weather to brighten your spirits. As I mentioned before, I am starting my spring break and enjoying a week off with the kiddos. Today was a beautiful day. We spent some time at the beach (even though it was cold at the shore) because my husband was out for a run and needed us to drive him some water and food on his route. So the kids and I did some digging, seashell hunting and of course Liam HAS to jump off the sea wall 100 times.







Next stop was to pick up daddy and go visit my Mother-in law at the rehab center where she is working hard to get better from a bad surgery. The kids love Nana and we had a good visit.

Then we convinced daddy to head to the playground. It was about 15 degrees warmer inland, which was fabulous
















Liam wanted to go to the playground to show his daddy how he can go ALL the way across the monkey bars without help. I tell you my little guy is pretty darn strong for someone who just turned 4. He is going to be quite the athlete.

I love that we have so many playgrounds here. This playground is my favorite. The last few times I went I did some mini-workouts as the kids played. Today was no exception. We all got our fitness on as we played.

Pregnancy Playground Workout

Here are some examples of what I did:

As I pushed the kids on the swing I did very love squats as I pushed out. I bet I did around 60-80 total.

I did one leg step ups on various size steps..somewhere around 50 on each leg.

I did side scissor step ups on the piping around the border of the playground 3 sets of 12 on each leg.

I went to a steep hill and did lunges up and down that hill 5 times.

There was also a set of stairs that I climbed a few times, two steps at a time.

Then a did alternating sets of double knee lifts (great for working the birthing muscles)
and twist planks, modified from Maria's amazing post found here: http://alifetobraggabout.blogspot.com/2012/04/friday-5-five-exercises-you-dont.html

I enjoyed my mini-playground workout. This playground also has a small gravel track, so it is a great place to come with all the kiddos and set up a routine when the baby is here. I love working out with the family and it is amazing to see the kiddos get some great exercise as they watch their parents do the same. Being a role model for my kids to be active and healthy is my main drive for staying fit.

And just when I thought our day couldn't get any more exciting, I remembered it was time to pick up the baby chicks we ordered. We had chickens for the last two years, but sadly lost the last of our small flock to coyotes a few months ago. So we decided to expand our chicken operation here on our wanna-be farm and now have 30, week old chicks living in our garage. So this fall I will be posting some serious egg recipes, as they are likely to begin laying around the end of October.



















So we will have a lot of new life around these parts. I love the spring and the changes it brings. Our little family plans to take it all in stride and do a lot of planting, growing, working out and raising little things this spring and summer. There is nothing like fresh air and nice weather,,,it seems to revive the spirit.

A snap shot of life

The major reason I have not blogged lately is this.....

I have been sick, sick, sick and tired too. As I posted the other day, we all had the stomach flu. Mama and Charlotte got it first. It was miserable and honestly I am still not feeling so hot. My stomach is a mess and I cannot eat anything. But worst of all I pulled several muscles in my neck and back and bruised my rib cage. I am praying that I will feel back to normal next week.

This meant no gym, forcing food down and just generally trying to survive at work (I missed two days).




But on a positive note I have been trying to enjoy my babies. Liam turned 4 years old yesterday. I cannot believe I have a 4 year old. This kid certainly have a crazy streak in him. He is hyper and active and naughty...but boy do I love him. His best quality is how he treats his little sister. This photo says it all. She worships him! Liam is the major light in her life. I love watching them interact. They do fight a good amount, but she always forgives him and returns to copying his every word and move.




It is hard to believe that Ms Charlotte will be a big sister soon. I am worried for her. She is still pretty little and I already feel like it is hard to give her enough attention. I am going to work REALLY hard at making her feel special when Vivienne arrives.



Despite our illness we are doing our best to celebrate the big 4 for Liam today. We are bringing him to Boston to the Science Museum and having a special lunch and then letting him pick his present at a toy store. I hope he has a great day. I think birthdays are extra special and I always want my kiddos to feel extra loved on their big day.



And just to wrap it all up. Look at those eyes. She is my angel baby and I love her so darn much.

P.S. I finally broke down and we got the IPhone 4S. This may seem like nothing to you..but for me it was a big step. I have never had a phone other than one I got free with my plan. I HATE spending money on myself. But the pictures on this are way better than the point and shoot camera I have and I admit it is pretty cool. Maybe someday I can afford a fancy camera too.

Hopefully next week I will be reporting on my last few weeks of pregnancy AND some gym trips. I felt cruddy not being able to work out this week, but I was THAT kind of sick and had no choice.

Valentines Day Love Story Link up

I stumbled across this link up in the blog world at a blog I like to check in on found here. I love a little romance in my life and I am lucky to have a romantic for a husband, who is good at making me feel special everyday.

I had so much fun reading the love stories of other bloggers that I figured I could answer the questions myself in honor of Valentines Day.

 

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?

Just about 7 years

 

2. How did you meet? {What's your "love" story?}

I was young, single and living with girlfriends in the city. I had basically sworn off men after getting annoyed by the singles scene in Boston. I went to an all day beerfest in Boston and as the event was ending one of my most gutsy girlfriends started hitting on this guy who she thought was cute. His friend would turn out to be the love of my life. We started out as the "wingmen" and ended up hanging out all night. We went on our first real date the next week and were never really apart after that. There was no doubt that he was the one from the start.

3. If married, how long have you been married? If not, is this the guy you hope to marry? 

We are coming up on 5 years this summer. 

 

 

4. If you are married, where did you get married at? Big or small wedding? 

We were married in the town we now live in, which is a beach town on Cape Cod. It was July, sunny, beautiful and 70's. The ceremony was at a small Catholic Chapel on the Harbor

 

The reception was across the Harbor at a place called the Flying Bridge. It was sooo much fun.

 

 

5. Do you have any nick-names that you call one another? Do share!

Just the basics. Usually hun or babe...nothing crazy. Since the kids it is mama and daddy a lot.

 

6. Name 3 things you love most about your honey.

Hmm, that's tough to narrow down. I would say his old school, gentlemen manners. He is the old school romantic. I also love that is is a guys guy..athletic, handy, he can build houses, knows about farm animals and is very physically fit and strong.

And lastly he is the best daddy. It takes a certain kind of man to take his daughter to music class and dance with the rest of the moms and to still be a real man while doing it. He is patient and kind to his children and he doesn't do anything without them in mind.

 

7. Tell us how he proposed? Or your ideal proposal?

He proposed after only 6 months of dating. It was Thanksgiving night. I had just driven to his apartment and he kept pressing that he wanted to dance with me. Our song came on the radio and soon after another one of our favorite songs had come on. It turns out he had requested them to come on at a certain time. When the second song ended he was down on one knee. It was intimate and beautiful and I was is shock...I mean who proposes after just 6 months!?

8. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy for v-day, or strawberries, champagne, and rose petals?

He's more of a love note, flowers, and good dinner kind of guy (we don't drink). He is good at massages too, so I am sure that will be involved.

9. Are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl, or pop a movie in and relax on the couch?

Movie and couch and good food. I love the beach very much...but we have two kids and another on the way...we have a lot of couch time.

10. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant one day. If you could do anything? Go anywhere?

I would love to go back to Belize, where we had our honeymoon...but the long term thing I am hoping to do is to take the kids on a major cross country camping/ driving trip. We are pretty adventurous and love to explore. If we can survive a 5 day RV trip with my whole family together, we could do it on our own.

 

11. Tell us what you plan on doing on this Valentine's Day.

Hmm it is a Tuesday night, I work all day and we have two kids and I am pregnant...so probably make a good dinner, get the kids to bed and sleep...maybe a massage can be squeezed in somewhere.

 

12. Are you asking for anything this Valentine's day?

I have everything I need. I seriously want and need nothing..I just like spending time together.

13. Give us one piece of advice of keeping a relationship strong and full of love.

You have to like each other as much as you love each other. We are best friends and always put each other first. I also think going to bed together at the same time has been huge for us.

14.  Show us a picture of what love means to you.

 

Peaceful, perfect, simple kind of day

Have you ever had one of those REALLY good days? The kind where you have no regret about how you spent your time, who you spent it with and how you felt during it?

That was yesterday for me. From start to finish, it was the best day I have had in  long time.

It started out with waking up to whole-wheat chocolate chip and banana pancakes with real maple syrup and strawberries, made by my husband....who had also fed the kiddos and cleaned up all before I woke up.

You know it's going to be a good day when you wake up to breakfast that you didn't cook.

Then I took a bath and got ready without any kiddos in my bathroom.

We lazed around for a while, chatted about baby girl names (something that can be hard to get the man to focus on) and got ready to go to our free exercise play group for the kids.

The hubby had promised to go with us when we signed up for it and was planning to go to work afterwards.

We had a blast running, jumping and playing on obstacle courses with the kids I wish I took pictures, but it was total chaos.

After class Mike decided that he was going to take the rest of the day off and just work Sunday..now that was great news.

We decided to head to Target to use our gift cards and pick up some stuff we need. So off we went as a family where we laughed and chatted in the car. Target was fine, we got some health food staples, new water bottles and ingredients for dinner and headed home. Amazingly enough I only spent what was on the gift card..that NEVER happens at Target.

Once home we made lunch and I was thrilled to remember the pizza leftovers from the night before..SOOO GOOD!

The kids watched a bit of TV while Mike and I finally started to agree on baby names and even narrowed it down to two that we love. I was so happy to actually be able to talk about it and I got him away from the name the whole family loved, but I just couldn't really accept. I really didn't want to settle on an okay name.

Then we decided we needed some fresh air. It was a decent day and the snow had melted, so we headed over to the conservation land near our house with the dog and kiddos and went on an hour long hike. It was really nice and it gave us an opportunity to talk about our future and past and just have a really great conversation.

Once home, I made some fish tacos..a recipe we love but I haven't made in a while. The kids were so tired that after baths they were both sound asleep before 7 (now who doesn't LOVE when that happens).

Mike and I watched an episode of Anthony Bourdain (I love that guy), had a snack and headed to bed.

Mike spent about an hour massaging my horribly crampy, pregnant legs with coconut oil and let me tell you this was HEAVENLY. Plus it gave us even more time to talk and just enjoy each other.

I went to sleep last night thinking that life has slowed down and that I love it just the way it is. I am happy to move on to a new phase where I focus on the here and now. We have (or just about have) the children we plan to have, we have our house, we have each other... we can focus on what is right in front of us.

I spent my whole life planning for the next step, the next baby, the next move, the next job. Now I have what I want and what I really need and I am making it my life long goal to enjoy each day and spend as much quality time with my family as possible.

Sometimes you just really need a good day to remind you of all that you have been blessed with.

Good news for a Saturday

Oh Saturday morning, how your meaning has changed so much in my life.

I remember the days, before my husband and I were married and looong before Liam blessed us with his presence, when we would spend half of Saturday in bed. We would watch TV, fall in and out of sleep, and try to get rid of hangovers from the Friday night we had spent with friends. I am glad we had that time in our lives.

Today is different, for obvious reasons...but I don't mind. I am tired, that's for sure but I am also fulfilled.

This week was a good one. Despite a pretty bad cold that is still gripping my chest and stuffing up my head, we had a week filled with happiness.

Tuesday was our ultrasound. After my husband and son both became determined to find out if our baby was in fact the boy they were so convinced it was, and after I started to have an OCD panic attack about not being ready and not having control over every aspect of my life (typical Caroline behavior) I totally caved and we decided to find out the sex of the baby. Although I will not have that big 40 week surprise, I don't really feel regret about this. Somehow I am at peace with the decision and am happy to be able to day dream about what my future will look like.

So, we were all pretty shocked when within 10 seconds of the wand hitting my tummy, we saw a pair of spread legs that clearly belonged to a baby girl. We had all felt so sure it was a little boy, that it took me a while to believe what I was seeing. Another healthy little baby girl, squirming all around for all of us to see. It was pretty special having Liam there with us. I think he felt good about being a big enough boy to come and it was a moment we will all remember for a lifetime.

Afterwards we picked up Charlotte and headed out to see Santa at the Bass Pro Shop. It was a great night with the family and it was fun to spend the car ride talking about our newest baby girl and what that will be like for all of us.

I certainly am happy that these two girls will have a big brother to protect them. I hope to stress to all of them that though they may not like each other all the time, that family always sticks together and stands up for each other.

For the first day or two after I found out I had a lot of joy, but also some sadness. Because this is our last time, I couldn't help but think I will never have another little boy. I kept picturing Liam when he was tiny and it left a little empty feeling in my heart. But I know I would have been just as sad to think of never having a little girl again.

Now that I have moved past that, I am embracing all that is wonderful about a family with a big brother and two baby girls. This holiday season has me imagining getting my girls dressed up in holiday dresses, taking them into Boston and bringing them to see The Nutcracker (something I have been dying to do for years, but have not had anyone to go with who would actually enjoy it).

So on this Saturday I am simply enjoying my kiddos, being reflective about how our family has changed so much over the past 6 years, and wondering about what the future will hold.

In typical family with young children style, tonight my hubby is going to a Christmas party alone. Sadly, I cannot go because we have no sitter and my cold is still pretty bad. But that's okay, because the sacrifices we have made have all been worth it and I get lots of rewards. So tonight I will put baby girl number one to bed, put on the fireplace and snuggle up to my big boy, who is going to be 4 soon and who is handling the idea of being a big brother quite well. He and I will eat some good food and watch a special movie together...because this phase will not last forever.

If I could just live life like my Grandma...

The big eating festivus has come to an end. I ate a lot. I cooked a ton. My back and feet ache and I just had a second piece of pie.

Yup, another Thanksgiving come and gone. Thanksgiving has aways been a special time for my husband and I. He proposed to me on Thanksgiving night six years ago. It is hard to believe that much time has come and gone, but in other ways it seems like the two people who were dancing in the kitchen of their first apartment when he proposed, are now strangers. We have done soooo much since that night- moved two times, built a house, got out of a crappy business, gained and lost weight, had a fabulous wedding, had two (almost three) babies, lost a beloved dog and got another one, worked a lot, cried some, laughed tons...

Yup life has been an adventure. Today he looked at me and said "I bet you didn't know what you were in for when you said yes that night." And he is right, I had no idea, but for the most part I have been pleasantly surprised. I really can't even relate to that 25 year old girl, standing in the kitchen, who truly had no idea what life would bring her.

Aside from the memories of that night, my other major reason for loving holidays is getting to listen to my family members: their stories and interactions and the way they adore my children.

My grandmother (my mother's mother) is one of my favorite people on this planet. Many people who know me don't even know that I lived with my grandparents for several years and they really were parents to me in every sense of the word. Because of that, we have a very special bond.

My grandmother is the most positive person I have ever met. She is kind, gentle, happy and she loves unconditionally.

I over-heard her talking today. Someone asked her if she just started chemotherapy. My grandmothers reply was that she had been receiving treatments since she was 38 years old (she is now in her late 70's) for her terrible rheumatoid arthritis. I sort of knew this already, but hearing her say it was like a stab to my heart. I know what terrible pain and horrible treatments she has gone through for nearly half her life!

It's hard to imagine. And her pain doesn't end there. As a mother of two (yes two) sets of twins, plus a single, she lost a child when he was two years old. A pain I can't even pretend to know. And in the past few years she started to go blind and cannot see very much at all.

But here's the thing. This woman loves life. I have lived with her, and had thousands of conversations with her and I have never once heard her complain about her life, her pain, or really anything. She is in terrible amounts of pain at times, but never seems to mention it. In fact, not that long ago I asked her how it was to to through chemo treatments and her reply was "well your grandpa always takes me to Dunkin Donuts afterward and I get a juice and two other treats!" Talk about looking on the bright side. So many people could learn something from her about taking things in stride and focusing on what really matters to get you through.

She does everything she can to stay alive and healthy, including swimming every chance she gets and exercising regularly, because, as she say.."I am just not ready to die yet, I love my life."

I happen to be around some not so positive people on a regular basis and it is all too easy to get sucked into the negative talk of what I refer to as "doom and gloom" people. Being around my grandmother reminds me that your attitude towards life can make or break your own happiness and can even determine how long you live. It also reminds me what I should listen to and what I should let go in one ear and out the other when talking to older people about life.

I can only hope and pray that I can live this way as I age and things become harder physically.

So today I am thankful for my life, my husband and my grandmother..who is an excellent role model.

A jammies kind of day

I am not sure that I will get out of my jammies today. My husband is gone ( he is at a weekend long blacksmithing course), the kids and I have no car, and it just feels like a jammies kid of day.

We started off the morning with a Dunkin Donuts ride with the husband before he left for the morning. I put a jerk chicken in the crockpot for tonight, we had a major dance party in the living room and now the kids are playing while I veg out here typing. This is all before 8:30 a.m. Not sure what we will do the rest of the day.

Liam has plans for fort building and hide and seek. I should mop the floor. I have some work to get done for Monday's class....but what I know for sure is that there will be a lot of silliness,probably pajamas, certainly some cooking and lots of snuggles.

I have gotten better at slowing down the pace of my life on days like today. I try to cherish the moment and just be a part of the day. That used to be really hard for me. I always needed to be doing something, planning my next move. The kids have taught me to let that go when the moment allows. It is cliche to say, but they do grow up so fast and if you rush around you miss it.

So today will be a lazy, slow-paced day of watching the kids just be themselves. I am looking forward to it and on that note...

we are off to build a fort.

These days.....

I got an inspiration for this post from SouleMama, who happens to write the best blog EVER. I want to be like her if I ever decide to follow my real dream.

Anyhow.

These days, this little girl:

is still trying to get away without walking. She can, but she doesn't much..why would she? Big brother gets her everything she needs.

These days, she is a bit of a climber and bumps her head a bit too much.

These days, she has a lot to say but her favoritete words are "Cowboy" (our dog) and "Beef" (her brother's words for passing gas...oh GREAT)

These days I cannot believe that soon there will be another baby and she will be a big sister, there is nothing "big" about her.

These days I am so grateful for getting to have a little girl, because the testosterone around this place can be overwhelming.

These days she has started to idolize her big brother. Her eyes light up when he enters the room and she follows him around as much as possible.

These days I am glad to be done nursing, but am sad that my baby likes to go in her crib with her dollie instead of rocking with me.

These days I am grateful that she is a much better sleeper than her big brother, because I am not sure I could handle two horrible sleepers.

These days Mr. Charlie is into shoes, Little Einsteins, her dollies, dancing to any hip hop music and climbing on the kitchen table.

These days she is even more beautiful, it's like her eyes are getting bluer and her dimples deeper.

These days I worry for her..that she will make my mistakes, make the wrong decisions but then I remember she has a daddy who will protect her, and a brother, and a mama too of course.

These days I wonder if I might have to pack up her little dresses, tights and sun hats for good because I am getting a boy vibe from this baby in my belly.

These days I relish the sweet sound of her baby voice saying "mama, I luuuuv yew" over and over until I pick her up and I try to give her as much one on one time as I can before she has to share her mama with yet another.

These day, Ms Charlotte is growing up too fast. Love you baby girl.

Check out how pretty our princess is (and of course how cute the rest of us are too) at our family picture link:
http://www.sarahpudlo.com/2011/11/02/beautiful-a-family-the-super-cool-farm-family/

A foodie, fall weekend

Let's start with some pictures

This weekend there was pumpkin carving.....



And randonly delicious recipes (see more below)



And messy mommy and kid cupcake decorating (I swear they are orange, even though they look pink)..........





And two cuties in costumes.....



My love for them.

I am terrified to write this post, or maybe a better word is intimidated. How do you capture the love you have for your children in one blog post? I guess the best way to think of it is that you can't and you won't-but I would like to attempt to do some justice to my feelings on this.

As I begin to announce that we are blessed enough to be expecting a third child, I have come to realize that I am constantly apologizing for who I am. I have been anticipating the comments people have such as "another one!" and "what are you crazy?" and trying to avoid and make excuses instead of admitting who I truly am and clearly stating why I am over-joyed.

The fact of the matter is, that despite my profession, and my other roles in this great big world...I was born to be a mama.
In fact, I love being a mama more than I could ever love anything else I have ever done in this world. And I know that I may help thousands of other children in my 30 year teaching career, and I guess it is always possible that I could help solve a world crisis or develop a way to cure disease, but all of that would still not hold a candle to the joy of all joys, which is raising my babies in a loving, happy, accepting household.

I am convinced that my life would hold no purpose without my children. Watching them discover and grow and start out on their own life journey is by far the most rewarding observation I have ever been allowed to make.

I know that some people cannot understand this, and maybe they never will...but I would sacrifice every part of who I am if it meant giving my kids a better life.

Why? Because when my son came into this world he taught me what it meant to have full responsibility of someone's innocence. When he was born there was not one speck of hate, of self-doubt, of jealousy or fear in his entire being. I know this to be 100 percent fact. And as his mother I consider it my life's mission to protect as much of the goodness in him as possible.

Being loved by my children and having the pleasure of watching them become people is something I will never take for granted.
It is easy to almost do so. After a day of tantrums, and talking back, of "I don't love you anymore mama's" from the mouth of an over tired 3 year old and of grouchy mama's who take out their frustration on their equally grouchy, over-worked and over-tired husbands...it is easy to think, why would we have another one? But without fail something always makes it worth it.

This week
it is a baby girl who claps for herself every time she takes two steps and falls down.
it is a son whose tantrum always comes to an end and then asks his mama if she will be his number one girl forever.
it is waking up after a night from hell to find your son's hand wrapped in your hair because he is afraid you will leave him in the night.
or a baby girl who loves to ask 'dada, where are you?" whenever her favorite man on the planet is not in the room.
or two kids who love to chase each other and laugh uncontrollably because the youngest of the two has finally understood the concept of hide and seek.
or a son who declares that he loves his sister and if we have to have another baby it must be another girl and we will call her Charlotte number 2.
or a husband who loves his kids as much as their mama does and spends as much time with them as he can.

So how could I ever make excuses for that? how could I ever not want more of it?

It's the most real thing there is, my love for them. And despite the fact that I have locked myself in the bathroom at 3pm with a pint of ice cream and cried in exhaustion and frustration...being loved unconditionally is worth it every time.

I wish for every person I know, that you may experience that level of love as much as possible for as long as possible.

Because the Fall always makes me feel better...

Even though I have felt down in the dumps lately, I have enjoyed some fabulous Fall days. I love the Fall, and during the Fall I love doing family road trips, our annual weekend in Maine with friends, pumpkin picking, apple orchard visits, etc., etc., etc.

It's unfortunate that I have to go back to work in the Fall, otherwise I'd call it my favorite season of all. But because of the work factor, it comes second to Summer.

Aside from the fact that I haven't been feeling so HOT lately..the other reason for my blogging absence is all the Fall Fun I have been having.

So far the highlights have been:

A kids fun fall farm day with my friend Steph and her son where the kids saw lots of animals, painted pumpkins, ate junk, ran around in the corn maze and went on horse pulls and tractor ride.

Our annual town pumpkin day with my mom where she comes every year to spoil the kids, and pays for them to do fun activities like face painting, slides, hay rides, etc. The weather on this day was particularly fabulous.

Day our with Thomas the Train at Edaville Railroad. if you live in Massachusetts, you probably know Edaville...it is pretty iconic around these parts. We had excellent weather to ride on Thomas the Train, play in a massive playground, ride rides and listen to music and stories.

And of course our annual weekend to Naples, Maine. Mike and I have been renting the same cottage on a River in Maine for the past 6 years (before kids and marriage). For the past 3 years we have gone with some of our close friends and their kiddos. We always have a blast cooking on the fire, exploring and going to kid friendly places.

So here are some pictures from the last few weeks. I expect that there will be a few more fun, Fall festivities before October comes to an end.

                                          All the kiddos, fireside in Maine

                          My sexy hubby and Charlotte at Portland Children's Museum

                                        The hubby giving fire instructions

                                          Ms. Charlotte hanging out

                                    A horrible picture of me, but the only one I am in.

                                          Riding Thomas the Train

What I want...'cause yeah, I'm in a greedy mood

It's Saturday, the sun is FINALLY out and I am trying to figure out where to bring the kiddos today. I feel like I have to step up my game in the fun department because now my quality time with them is limited to the weekends. I don't want to become the forgotten parent.

I was just sitting here thinking about how I really want a Starbucks carmel machiato. I could easily drive off and get one, but I am really trying not to buy coffee on the go. This is probably my biggest weakness and I need to be good.

This got me thinking about what else I want that I don't currently have but also don't really need. My life wish list if you will.........

1. A larger, cleaner vehicle that can transport my kids, dog and other crap in a slightly classier way then my currently filthy, aging Ford Freestyle. I think I want a Pilot.

2. A fence around my yard. We have a beautiful, large yard but it is so open to everyone who walks by...including many of the neighborhood kids who I have had as students. Plus I would love if the kids, chickens, dog and cat would be contained in a fenced area. for now we are working on a privacy fence across the front...but it will be forever before we can afford one all the way around.

3. Another baby. I know, it is crazy...but I am starting to get baby fever again. I just stopped nursing my daughter...so sooner than later would be nice.

4. Intensive, one on one pilates instruction 3 nights a week. Ha, I'll keep dreaming on this one.

5. A secretary at work. I can't even imagine what a fabulous teacher I would be if I didn't spend half my damn day doing crap that is pointless and does not have anything to do with the quality of education.

6. A tropical vacation in the winter during February vacation...because New England winters start to get intolerable right about that time.

7. A family day that included my husband at least one day a week. I miss him a lot.

8. A fully finished basement with a giant, padded playroom. Because rainy days with kids are no fun.

I think that is all. I mean, is it all really too much to ask? The good news is...a few of these are not totally unrealistic,,,so I will live for those!

What do you really want, even if you don't need it?

My babies and when health backfires

I just have to brag about my kids here for a second. i just love them to pieces (as all mama's do) and I think they are just so great. Despite the infrequent melt-downs (like the one my son had at the fair last night) they are so sweet and kind. My son has such great manners and listens to others. He shares with other kids and I love that I can let him be when we are with other families and not worry that he is going to hurt someone or be unkind.

I think of them when I am at the gym or feeling lazy. I want them to live healthy, active lives and I know I need to lead by example. I make a TON of mistakes when it comes to parenting my babies. It is seriously freaking hard work. I get down on myself about it a lot...but all in all I have some pretty fabulous kids so I must be doing something right.

Here they are:

Sorry...I was just in the mood to brag about them.

Now onto my health backfiring.

 Last night we went to the County Fair. I am not going to lie, I LOVE me some fair food. I could seriously eat my face off at those things. I knew I needed to get some dinner and I tried my best to be good. I decided on a steak tip/ veggies and rice platter. Now this was probably hugely high in calories and fat. I know for sure the veggies were cooked in tons of oil. But I also knew I would be getting some nutritional value, as the plate did have a good balance of veggies and protein. I also knew it would fill me up so I didn't cave to all the sweet and fried treats.

Well on my third bite of the steak I coughed and sucked a huge piece of steak into my throat. My husband had to give me the Heimlich in front of a huge crowd  of people and some of our friends. I totally drooled on the table and everything. After a few seconds it came up. Holy scary! I should have just got the damn fried dough like I really wanted.

Happy to be alive today.

.

Recipe, Depressing Music and Vacations

I am feeling a bit random lately, and so is this entry;

After gaining a few lbs the last week or so, I was careful to clean up my diet again and decided to try out a few new recipes.

The one I am sharing is not my own. It is from Fitness Magazine. It can be found HERE.

It is for Fish Tacos.
I have never been too big into fish tacos, but my husband LOVES them. He seriously orders them whenever he can. I really liked these. They had so many different flavors going on and were fresh and fun.
The only modifications I made were that I added extra Tabasco to the sauce and I used less mayonnaise. I also used canned corn because I didn't have frozen. The key is to be sure you do NOT cook the corn or black beans. I also added fresh cilantro because we have a ton on hand. I used he bagged coleslaw mix because it had a few more veggies in it and I got low-carb/ calorie tortillas. I also sprinkled on a small amount of cheddar cheese
I tripled the recipe and we both had 3 tacos. 1-lb of Tilapia was more than enough for 6 tacos and a little bit left for the kids. My guess is that for 3 tacos I ate about 700-800 very fulfilling calories.

This morning my daughter decided to wake up at 4am to eat. I fed her and put her back to sleep and decided it was pointless to go back to bed for 30 minutes, so I downloaded some new music before heading to the gym. As I listened to my playlist I realized that I have a tendency to depress myself with music. The majority of my songs have some sort of depressing theme. I don't consider myself a sad person, so I started thinking about what draws me to this type of music. My theory is that I like reflecting on my past, and somehow depressing music pulls out the raw emotions I have experienced over the years. Somehow this converts into adrenaline. For example, if I am listening to a song that makes me think of what a jerk an old ex-boyfriend is, it pushes me to workout harder. Interesting? I think so, but as you can see I am big of being reflective.

Some of my favorite depressing songs:
Third Eye Blind: How's it Gonna be
Limp Bizkit: Break Stuff
Keith Urban: Stupid Boy
Justin Timberlake: Cry me a River
Linkin Park: In the End
Jay-Z: Young Forever (probably not depressing, but makes me sad)
Christina Perri: Jar of Hearts
Garbage: I'm Only Happy When it Rains

And of course the King and depressing hip hop: Eminem. I like many of his songs, but I REALLY love Love The Way You Lie.

Now you may want to try and psycho-analyze me based on the fact that my favorite song is about an abusive relationship....but I assure you there isn't much to it. I just like this type of music. I must be a weirdo. I do however have several other upbeat songs going for myself..but you might judge me even more if I told you about my booty shaking playlist..that's a whole other post.

Now onto the subject of vacation. In 10 days we are leaving for Montana!!! Wohoo. I am so excited. We are going for TWO WHOLE WEEKS. I love, love, love long vacations. This one will be filled with hikes in the woods, sitting by one of the most beautiful lakes in the country, early morning sunrise with coffee, boats, fishing, RV's, rodeos with real cowboys.sState fairs, four wheeling, laughing with my dad, driving around aimlessly and just a lot of laid back fun. So I will be spending the next ten days packing and preparing, because that's what mama's do. Here is where we are going:

I cannot wait.

Oh sunshine, where are you?

Summer vacation has started. I am home with the babies and looking to embrace all things summer. You know like,
Sunshine and warmth
Long days at the beach
Cookouts with friends
Trips to the park
Hiking
Kiddie Pools
Healthy veggies and lean meat grilled outdoors

Sounds great right? Well it has been raining and miserable here since Wednesday (my first day of vacation). It is now Saturday and I am 3 steps from lossing my mind. I do not do indoors with two kids very well. I have taken them to all possible indoor favorites: indoor play place, Children's Museam, Library, Friendly's.
I even walked around Petco and pretended it was the zoo.

I am out of ideas and the sun had best come out tomorrow.

The other major reason this weather is cramping my style is that I am eating too much. I am most definietly a boredom eater. As mentioned above, I even took the kids to Friendly's ( a kids restaraunt for the non-New Englanders) with a friend and her son. Needless to say, I did NOT order a salad. I keep opening the fridge and picking at things. This must stop!

Tomorrow is supposed to get better. We are off to see family and celebrate Charlotte's birthday. This will mean picnic food and cake. Monday needs to be a fresh start. Come on Summer, where are you?

Thursday is almost Friday

I'd say I'm doing pretty good. I had a few days off from life in general when I had a horrible stomach bug...but otherwise I am happy about my healthy living.

My current weight is 135 lbs. This is 10 lbs less than the day I got married. When I got pregnant with both kids I weighed 145 exactly. 135 certainly feels much better.

Sadly my body is not what it was even when I was 10 lbs heavier. Thanks you small children. I think every woman wishes she could be in a bikini forever, but I guess I will take my two healthy, happy babies over my formerly flat and cute belly

I am still loving the gym. I am getting there about 4 mornings a week. I wish I could go more, but I have to share with the hubby. My gym is brand new and the equipment is really nice. I am especially psyched about the 2 arc trainers, one of the only cardio machines I believe can get me to burn about 300 calories in 30 minutes.

I wish I had some new recipes to post, but I have been lazy and making the same things. I will get on that soon.

The final thought that I will leave you with is:

What happened to our society?
I remember that when I was a kid, moms could really focus on raising their chuldren. Now I cannot think of even one friend that I have that can afford to take off any time from work to raise their babies. Now not only do we need to raise our chidren, but we need to work long hours in high pressure jobs just to survive. I wonder if all of this pressure on me to do a million things all of the time will somehow hurt my children. Sometimes I feel like I am juggling and I just don't want all of my balls to come crashing to the floor.

What I learned from my mama.................

As I sat in a meeting at work today discussing a child who was not getting the help they needed due to a variety of environmental factors, I found myself reflecting on the lessons I carry with me in life. My mother is responsible for 50 percent of who I am (genetically speaking) but I wonder how much of who I am as a person has come from how I was raised, and by who I was raised. I could think of a million lessons that I carry with me that came from my mother, but I find this one to be the most valuable..................

When someone you love is living their life in a way that you don't agree with , all you can do is love them anyway and be there for them. Judging will only push them away from you.

I could go on for days about the many ways my mother demonstrated this to me, but I will stick to just a few. At one point in my life I was in  bad relationship. The short version is that the guy totally sucked and I shouldn't have been with him. My mother never once said anything bad about him and never told me that I shouldn't be with him. She knew that if she did, it might hurt me or even worse push me away from her. In my own time I realized my mistake and since my mother had never judged me, I was able to go to her for help getting out of the relationship. She was there to listen and never judged.

She does this in a lot of small ways too. Like when I talk to her about how many children I want to have, or how I discipline my kids, etc. She always listens and if she says anything at all it is usually that she points out the positive side to either scenario. She might tell me all the good reasons there might be to have just two kids (which we have now) but she will also mention the reasons three might be nice as well. This makes me feel like I can share my thoughts with her. She isn't going to ask, "Can you afford 3 kids?" or "Don't think anyone will babysit for you if you keep having babies." She listens, she talks to me, and if she is making any judgments at the moment, she keeps them to herself.

Why is this lesson so valuable to me?

Well, it's because in my heart of hearts I think everyone should show this level of love and respect for the people they love.

For example, I frequent a lot of health/ fitness message boards. People often post questions like, "my father is so unhealthy and very over weight, I am afraid for his life. How do I encourage him to get healthy?"

My answer to this question is that you cannot ask someone to change. If you tell your father that they are over weight and need to go on a diet/ exercise, not only will they not change, but they will resent you for judging them. The only way someone will change is if THEY want to. You cannot make anyone else change PERIOD.

The way you help is by being a good role model. Eat healthy and exercise and perhaps some day you will be an inspiration to you father (or whoever). And don't judge. Love them when they are at their best, and worst.

When I was in a bad relationship my mother talked about my step father and why he is a good man (indirectly of course). The fact that she was married to a good man, and in a solid relationship was inspirational to me and though I didn't know it at the time, that is part of how I knew what I didn't want in my own life.

If you truly love someone you should not remind them of their faults. I cannot tell you how many times I hear people in my professional and private life say things like "and I told my son, if he doesn't break up with his trashy girlfriend, his life is going down the drain." Or, "I told my sister if she didn't start exercising she was going to turn into a tub of lard."
I'd like to know how many times comments like that have encouraged someone to change their lives. I would expect not very many. I'd imagine the people on the receiving end of such comments harbor a great deal of resentment.

So thank you Mom, for this important life lesson. I live and breath this in all I do. It makes me a better teacher, mother, and family member. I am so glad that you have always loved me for who I am, and not for who you want me to be. LESSON LEARNED.

What is the most valuable lesson you have learned from your mama?