Saturday, January 21, 2012

Healthy Marriage=Healthier Self

I have been thinking of my husband this morning. Maybe it is the appreciation and admiration I have of him as he made me breakfast in bed this morning and let me sleep an extra 2 hours for no reason other than that he loves me. Corny? Maybe, but true.

See, my husband is a really good man. I would imagine most married couples would say the same about their spouse, but sometimes I think people lie to themselves. Now, I said he is a good man, not a perfect man. Believe me, we have had some less than glamorous moments. It certainly has not all been sunshine and rainbows...but one thing remains, which is that my husband loves me, we are best friends, we like to be around each other and he supports me.

Mike and I got engaged only 6 months after we met. Most people thought we were crazy, heck, I thought we were crazy...but I never had any doubts. We were young and in love and excited for our future.

Post engagement trip, Jamaica 2005
We had a lot of fun back then. We hung out with friends, went on little and big trips and enjoyed our year and a half engagement. We really never argued and I never, ever questioned whether or not he was the right person to spend my life with. I loved that time of our lives. The biggest thing I learned about Mike during our pre-marriage days was that he had true old school gentlemen qualities about him. He was the guy who always opened the door for you. He would wake up in the middle of the night and would tuck me back into the covers, even when he thought I was sound asleep. This type of thing was second nature to him. He never did it because he thought someone was watching, or to was and is just part of what makes him, him.

We had a wonderful wedding in 2007. The day was beautiful and fun and just so happy.
When we got married I knew I would take my vows very seriously. For better or for worse is a very important part of the promise we made. I knew we would argue and have tough times, that's reality...but I can remember talking to Mike about that fact that leaving or threatening to leave each other would never be on the table.   
Then life seemed to pick up speed. It should not have been surprising considering that as soon as we returned from our honeymoon we were surprised to find out about this:

Because we started having babies right away, and we owned a business that caused unbelievable stress for my husband, and he started building a house for us, and we both worked full time, had a baby and everything else that comes along in life.....we just didn't have as much time for each other.

We had tough times, and good time but we stood by each other.

After we had our second child we started making moves to get back the time we had lost with each other. Our house was finished and we were settled, we got out of the horrible business (thank GOD) and we put each other's health and well-being as a priority. That is about when I started this blog..when we really started living for one another again.

Having a good partner in life has made all the difference in my mental and physical health. Mike knows that it is just as important that I get to the gym as it is that he does. We like talking about health living and why it is important to us. And my husband helps me, A LOT.

Recently I started to get stressed. The physical effects of being pregnant, working full time and coming home to two toddlers has started to take a toll on me. After a long talk with Mike, he decided there were ways he could help and support me even more. It can't be easy for him. he already takes care of the kids full time and works on the weekends. But somehow he has been an even better support lately. He has started to do even more housework and since our son is a difficult sleeper, he has been the one putting him back to bed every night when he wakes up. He gets up and heats the car up for me before I go to the gym, so I have a better shot at getting there. He does so much, without resentment or frustration.

And because of him I can be healthier and happy. I feel so content knowing that I have a partner who can help and who has found a way to be even better as the years have gone by.

When I hear about friends and others I know who seem to be unhappy in their marriage, I wonder if they really put each other first. Marriage has certainly been a process of learning and growing, and I know we have a LOOOONG way to go. I am sure during that time we will hit some bumps in the road but he is my priority and my number one in this world and I can honestly say that thanks to him, I am a better, healthier, happier person.

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